You wanna know about WWE pay-per-view schedule, huh? Well, I tell ya, it’s a whole mess of wrasslin’ these days. More shows than you can shake a stick at! Used to be, you just had a few big ones a year. Now? They’re poppin’ up like weeds in my garden!
This year, 2024, they already done with most of their big ol’ pay-per-view shows. But there’s always something comin’ up. That WWE, they just keep on going, like a rooster chasin’ a hen!
Now, if you wanna watch these fellas and gals toss each other around, there are a few ways to do it. They got this thing called Peacock. Like the bird, but not really. You can see some of the wrasslin’ on there, I reckon. And they got something called DirecTV Stream. Sounds fancy, don’t it? That shows it too, I hear.
But that ain’t all! They got these weekly shows, too. One’s called “WWE Raw” and the other’s “WWE Smackdown”. They’re on every week, rain or shine. Like clockwork. More regular than my old milk cow, Bessie, bless her heart.
- Monday Night Raw
- Smackdown
They say you can watch “Raw” on somethin’ called FuboTV or SlingTV. SlingTV? What in tarnation is that? Sounds like something you’d use to catch a rabbit! They say you can get a deal on it, half price or somethin’.
Now, I remember back in the day, they had this big show called Royal Rumble. That was a hoot! All them wrestlers in the ring at once, tryin’ to throw each other out. Like a bunch of angry bulls in a pen!
They had one this year, back in January. The 31st, I believe. Said it was in St. Petersburg, Florida. Florida? Must be hot down there. I’d rather be here with my chickens, thank you very much.
Then they had another one called NXT Takeover: Vengeance Day. Sounds spooky, don’t it? That was in February, on Valentine’s Day. Who wants to watch wrasslin’ on Valentine’s Day? I’d rather have a box of chocolates!
And then, there’s this Elimination Chamber thing. Another one in February. They do a lot of wrasslin’ in February, I guess. Keeps ’em warm, maybe.
Seems like they had some big event scheduled for 2025, too. Some fella was supposed to make a “statement” at the Elimination Chamber in Toronto. Toronto! That’s up in Canada, ain’t it? Bet it’s cold up there. Colder than a well-digger’s you-know-what!
Oh, and there was something about WWE RAW: Day 1. That was on New Year’s Day in San Diego. San Diego, that’s in California. Lots of sunshine out there. Too much, probably.
There’s more of ’em, but my head’s startin’ to spin. They got so many of these things now, it’s hard to keep track. They used to just have WrestleMania. That was the big one. Now, they got all these other fancy names. Premium Live Event, they call ’em. Sounds like a load of hogwash to me!
They say you can watch some of this stuff on somethin’ called Disney + HotStar. Disney? What’s Mickey Mouse got to do with wrasslin’? And what’s a HotStar? Sounds like a movie star with a fever!
And there is this other thing, Flow, where you can see WrestleMania. They also call it a Premium Live Event. They call ’em Pay-per-view. Premium Plus, WWE Online. Whatever that means. I swear they make up these names just to confuse us old folks!
Anyways, if you really wanna know the WWE schedule, you best look it up on the internets. I can’t keep all these names and dates straight. All I know is, there’s always some wrasslin’ goin’ on somewhere. Just like there’s always gonna be weeds in my garden. Gotta keep pullin’ ’em, or they’ll take over the whole darn place!
And that’s all I got to say about that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go feed my chickens. They don’t care nothin’ about WWE pay-per-view schedules. They just want their corn!
