Okay, here’s my take on that “boston bateman dad” thing, based on what I messed around with.
Alright, so, I stumbled upon this whole “boston bateman dad” concept online, and honestly, it looked wild. It’s basically about embodying this, like, super-successful, slightly unhinged, impeccably dressed dad vibe. I figured, why not give it a shot? See what all the fuss is about.
Step 1: The Look. First things first, I needed to nail the aesthetic. Think crisp button-downs, maybe a navy blazer, definitely some well-fitting chinos. I dug through my closet and found a decent light blue shirt and some khakis. Needed shoes though. Ended up grabbing some loafers at a thrift store – surprisingly good find! The hair? Slicked back, kinda preppy. Managed that with some gel I found under the sink. Not perfect, but it’s a start.
Step 2: The Attitude. This is where it gets tricky. It’s not just about looking the part; it’s about acting the part. Confident, borderline arrogant. I started practicing my “knowing” smirk in the mirror (felt super cringey). Then, I tried the power walk around the block – head up, shoulders back, like I own the place. Almost bumped into Mrs. Henderson and her chihuahua. Awkward.
Step 3: The Activities. Okay, so apparently, these guys are into… interesting hobbies. Fine dining, classical music, maybe a little light murder simulation? I decided to skip the murder part (obviously) and focus on the more approachable stuff. I went to a fancy-ish restaurant (splurged on the steak), tried to appreciate the opera music playing softly in the background (failed miserably), and even attempted a crossword puzzle from the New York Times. Let’s just say my success rate was… low.
Step 4: The Dad Jokes (but make them edgy). I looked up a bunch of dad jokes, and then tried to make them a bit… darker? It didn’t really work. My wife just rolled her eyes. “Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired… of hiding the bodies.” Yeah, it needs work.
The Result: Honestly? I felt like a complete idiot most of the time. The clothes were okay, but the attitude felt forced, and I just couldn’t get into the whole pretentious hobby thing.
But here’s the thing: I did learn something. Stepping outside my comfort zone and trying something completely different, even if it’s a bit ridiculous, can be fun. And who knows, maybe there’s a little bit of “boston bateman dad” in all of us, just waiting to be unleashed (responsibly, of course!).
So, would I recommend trying this? Maybe. Just don’t take it too seriously, and definitely don’t try the murder stuff. Seriously.
- Loafers from thrift store
- Hair gel under the sink
- Ate steak
Disclaimer
I am not responsible for any existential crises that may result from attempting to become a “boston bateman dad.” Try at your own risk.
